lamboblogging

So my birthday is coming up soon and this is going to be the first birthday with my mom in almost 10 years. We had a falling out back then but recently I decided to let her back into my life and so I moved across the country to stay with her because she's changed dramatically from how she used to be. She's been asking me what I want to do for my birthday since it's in about 2 months and she has always done some pretty big stuff for her birthday so she wants to know what big thing I want to do for my birthday. I don't do big things for my birthday. I'm turning 25 and ever since I've turned 18 I've hated having birthdays. All I've done since then was get drunk with friends and have dinner with my family, which is all really nice but all my birthday is to me is a reminder that I'm getting older without actually progressing in life.

So needless to say, I've never gone anywhere or done anything cool or exciting. I'm a complete introvert so going out to new places without knowing anything about it is just stressful to me and I have an extremely hard time having fun when I'm in a place I'm unfamiliar with. To add onto that, I grew up in a very low income household so going out and travelling or doing anything spectacular wasn't an option even if i wanted to, while on the other hand, my mom is fairly well off and gets to travel whenever she wants.

Yesterday I finally figured out what I wanted to do, which was camping. I told my mom that all I want to do is go for a nice long hike and camp with the middle of nowhere and just enjoy nature. She immediately shot down that idea saying "Yeah I'm not doing that." and after that I was pretty much out of ideas. She made suggestions of skydiving, driving supercars on a track, or going to a large city near our home just to spend the day there. Those are all things she wants to do. I get incredibly motion sick very easily so skydiving is not an option at all. I've never been interested in supercars and she knows this. She knows I'm an introvert so I wouldnt like being in a huge city I've never been in.

I finally came up with something that I wanted to do that I know she would be cool with, which was just going to Chicago to see the Shedd aquarium (I work with fish and love animals so aquariums are one of my favorite places to be). I knew she would be okay with this because it was the same distance from us as the other city she wanted to go to but she still said that she doesnt think it would be a good idea. The only difference between doing what she suggested and what I suggested would be that we would go to the aquarium for a few hours.

I genuinely don't know what to do, she keeps asking me what I want to do but says no to everything I tell her I want to do. I'm thinking of just telling her I don't want to do anything and just taking a few days off work. I always get depressed around my birthday but this year is so much worse.

Submitted August 27, 2020 at 06:30AM by chungoglungus https://ift.tt/3jmOVWZ