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I’m a 55 year old male, currently being referred for assessment to see whether I am affected by Aspergers.

I’ve been learning as much as I can about it, and have just read The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome by Tony Attwood - which seems to be a very detailed reference guide - although it’s a bit more clinical than I would have liked.

My current thinking is that Neurotypicals have something in their sub-conscious mind that means they are drawn to other people, to socialize with them and to care about them. Let’s call this a social magnet.

In my case, the magnet is the wrong way around. If I don’t use my conscious mind to override it, I repel people by default - and these are some of the ways I do it:

• I have what I call a ‘resting bitch face’. I look unhappy all of the time, even though I am actually happy and content inside. I once won a trophy in a supercar race, and the person presenting it to me said “well, you could look happy about it” as I was up on stage receiving my prize!

• I can’t laugh. The worst thing you can say to me is “hey, listen to this great joke...”

• I am useless in conversation with anyone I don’t know or in any groups of people that I don’t know. My sub-conscious tells me that I have nothing of value to say.

• I dread bumping into people that I know. Drop me in a city where I don’t know anyone and I’m ‘happy as Larry’ minding my own business.

• I’m very critical of anyone doing something that I think is wrong or inappropriate. I find it very difficult to disguise my disapproval.

• If I’m asked a closed question, I’m happy to just answer it with a simple Yes or No, whereas many NTs add to their response to keep the conversation going. My mind tells me there’s nothing more to be said.

• I take virtually everything literally. Say something once to me that I don’t like, and I’ll never forget it.

I’m sure a lot of this stems from me overthinking everything. However, I feel like I’m making some progress now that I’ve identified these personal traits and am practicing using my conscious mind to override my natural responses.

I realize I’m late to the party - at 55 - but does this resonate with anyone else here? Am I in the right place?

Submitted January 29, 2020 at 04:49AM by z1gz1g https://ift.tt/2uFNcbf
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January 29, 2020 at 05:51AM