lamboblogging
First of all I apologize for the long post, but I really put my whole heart & effort into this, it's really something that I care about and would appreciate a lot if someone relates and could share their insight and experiences.
I find myself thinking (and struggling) a lot about this.. Think "Entourage" the movie, I'm sure every man watches that and sees it as 'goals' - Now, I'm not talking about the stuff in it which might be unrealistic, surely not everybody gets to fly a helicopter onto a yacht, partying with supermodels every casual Saturday afternoon. But thinking within that theme, it's about having a solid group of people around you who are at least somewhat connected, fun, and get to do cool things with. Not just grab a beer on the weekend and crash on the couch later. Basically living a fulfilling life, within one's means/capabilities.
I don't know if many people would even relate to this, but I think for those who live in big cities, I'm sure you know what I'm trying to say and also aspire for that. Cities like London, New York, Monte Carlo, Dubai, etc. you have all the nightlife, sometimes even things like that requiring connections to get into (e.g. Zuma in London), and whatnot. I was at a similar restaurant the other day and saw a guy at the other table which fit this 'Entourage' example 100%, he was dressed sharp, displaying fun/cool vibes, and sitting on a table with a bunch of other like-minded guys, and of course beautiful girls. I immediately started thinking to myself how I could just 'be at that table', what does it take to get your foot into that kinda scene?
Surely one would immediately think "Oh well he has money, duh! you just need money". But that's not entirely true, there's only so much money and people in this world, not everyone walking around rich.. Surely he was rich (nightlife connoisseur), but I'm sure there's even people richer than him there who are just spending a (boring) night out with less vibrant company, different lifestyle. And the other thing is, even for people like him who are rich, you're not necessarily going to always be around people on the same level as you. I know another guy who is in a similar situation, he is rich indeed, but has many of his friends who aren't nearly as well off, and they'd tag along to nearly all of the activities. Now of course those friends of his aren't just in a different dimension, they do alright and aren't just leaching off of him, nobody would want or tolerate that. But for example even though he might have a huge house, throw fun parties there, supercars and travel all the time, his friends might have a fraction of that (but still something decent), and get to come to the same parties, experience the same lifestyle and whatnot.
That's what I'm referring to - how do you get into that kind of scene ? For someone who let's say has some of the means, but not the right cards. For example, I have seen from personal experience that people who attended certain schools, you get to be in a certain environment and around a certain demographic. And it makes it 100x easier to just "fall into" that kind of setting early on (again, not necessarily about 'wealth', I have been to and experienced wealthy educational institutions and some of them are completely dull and mundane, nothing like what I'm describing).
So for the other group who wasn't so lucky in that regard (which I find myself in), how would you go about finding such a social circle, and getting to enjoy those kind of things? That is, Fun guys with cool vibes into the nightlife, travels, exuding all that positive energy and attracting similar people and attractive girls. Here are some of the approaches I've took which were great, but didn't quite find much (lasting) success:
First of all I did all the basics & prerequisites of almost a decade-long investment: such as lifting weights, getting fit, personal development to overcome obstacles & develop skills, grooming/style/fashion, etc. - And then I started going out to those places which I like, and where those people I described would ultimately be at. I was going to enjoy myself first & foremost, but I wouldn't be enjoying too much, especially considering that the fun in it is going with company, but nonetheless I did, and put myself out there, but it was quite difficult to build anything out of it (maybe more so for someone who's somewhat of an introvert like myself).
The other day I was at a beach club, very popular local place, and attracts many people who come there dressed well, looking fun, cool vibes and whatnot. Often celebrities (not very famous though), and Lots of rapper-like people (but completely classy, on the contrary). So I was sitting on a single sunbed, and I went dressed in my favourite clothes and wore my favourite watch, basically like something that fits the 'dress-code' and vibe (although there isn't one actually..). I notice a guy in front of me wearing a similar type of watch (but much nicer one), and so I admired it from a close distance and then kept going about my day. A few minutes later he goes somewhere, and when he comes back, I hear someone coming at me from behind with a super cool vibe and complementing my watch, like "heeeey nice watch" and extends his arm for a fist bump. I reciprocated that same energy (but much more relaxed, I'm introverted) and complimented his, not much a conversation but just a 2 second type of interaction. He proceeded to go to his seat in front of me, where he was with his guy friend. About 30 minutes later, I decide to be more of an extrovert (like I've been promising myself to), and so I go and take a dip in the pool, then as I'm coming out I approach him and ask him if he's from the city (turns out he was visiting), and whether he'd like to get a bigger table and invite some girls over. He said he was interested but had to leave quite soon, so suggested another time. I felt he was reaching for his phone to keep in touch with me, but me being an introvert who hates feeling intrusive and felt quite intimidated by that rejection, I kinda just subtly ended the conversation smoothly and left (regretted later). I found out later he was a professional (non-famous) soccer player (randomly through Instagram location geotag of that place we were at), and his vibe was so cool basically fit, tatted, jewellery and outgoing and whatnot. Dancing and chilling. Basically 99% similar to French rapper "Vegedream". He and his friend brought 2 Russian girls to their sunbed a while later before leaving them behind (like he said), but they exchanged contact info I noticed. And I felt super bummed I was like a loser basically, although I did try to approach girls during the time there, as I was looking to get a bigger/nicer spot and party, but I just had some small talk with 2 girl friends, and didn't manage to gather a decent crowd. My main goal is finding guys for a social circle though, I don't have as much trouble or concern with girls.
Now anyway, I've went a dozen times there before, and even more so to other places, but rarely ran into a situation like this (The only other time was that a girl saw me at a more relaxed place, and decided to message me on Instagram when she somehow found my page). So I definitely notice that putting myself 'out there' is opening up some opportunities (although rarely), but even then it's not leading to much.. and not to mention, I feel like that's 100% because of me and my situation.. I'm not even in a position to attract that, like thinking of the thought of me just being there solo, no matter how 'cool' or 'well-dressed', not really providing much value. I feel like I need an actual social circle, so that not only would I be able to smoothly approach others (both guys & girls) for friendships/connections/relationships/fun, but also enjoy myself more in the process, and more importantly be myself, and more relaxed. And ultimately provide value so that people would want to come along, and whatnot..
That's just so difficult and something I'm not able to accomplish, despite trying so hard, and even using social media to ease/go around it (I guess necessary these days), and helps quite a bit, but still no success.. I can't even go to some places like nightclubs or party-type restaurants, which I love. Because those can't be gone alone.. (or even as a couple)
Thoughts?
Submitted January 16, 2020 at 06:14AM by DxbLoveForLife https://ift.tt/2FTFpcg
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January 16, 2020 at 06:46AM
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January 16, 2020 at 08:23AM
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