Lambo Blogging: Wanna Get Over an Ex? Drive Over Their Stuff With a 60-Ton Tank Named “Larry”

Drive a Tank, the Minnesota-based outfit that lets civilians (and us) drive real tanks, fire military weapons, and basically act out their basest Rambo fantasies, has come up with perhaps the best interactive contest of 2020: Every month, it will solicit submissions of items people want to smash due to their symbolic ties to a failed relationship. The top three chosen by Drive a Tank will then be opened to public voting on its Facebook page, with the ultimate winner each month earning “an all-expense paid crushing of their keepsake along with video of said crushing.”

As Tony Borglum, the founder and current owner of Drive a Tank puts it, “I was looking at a gift my ex-girlfriend bought me a few years ago,” and “I thought I would maybe sell it but I wouldn’t get very much for it. It’s pretty worthless. So I crushed it instead and it was a cathartic experience. I invite others to try it!”

Move over, therapists. So long, drinking away one’s sorrows. Drive a Tank is here to help you get over your ex and bury your feelings under the weight of a 60-ton Chieftain main battle tank. The tank, by the way, even has a name: Larry. Who wouldn’t want to smash physical totems to a previous bad decision using their new friend Larry the Tank?

Of course, there are a few baseline rules we should mention. First, no, you can’t run over your ex with a tank or someone named Larry. Drive a Tank (let’s call ’em DaT) also reminds participants that they should legally own whatever item they’re bent on bending. In order to participate, you’ll need to send a photo of an item along with a description of it and what it means to you—um, we mean, why it should be obliterated—to info@driveatank.com. As mentioned, the top three submissions each month will then be posed to Drive a Tank’s Facebook followers, who will render final judgment.

Don’t feel like entering a contest or just want to be very sure your ex’s crap that’s now definitely yours finds its way beneath Larry the tank’s treads? DaT also accepts paid requests to crush items; you’ll be on the hook for a fee, as well as the shipping charges to get your bad memory to its facility in Kasota, Minnesota. Drive a Tank will even ship the smashed thing back to you, if you want.